Dark Roots, Sonnet:
My family, you inspire me to write,
I despise your demons and countless lies.
Some sort of insanity or a curse,
I am vexed to wonder what could be worse.
Oh, how I miss the blissful ignorance,
A silent supper in separate rooms,
With no wondering whether my parents
Prefer the children over drugs and booze.
Monsters emerged from this sour bloodline.
Souls as dark and empty as a blackhole,
They love to hurt like ossing the gumline,
The sight of the bloodshed makes them cackle.
May these demons release these abductees
As there was once light, or perhaps I dream.
This is dark, indeed. I will always point out a good title when I see one, and Dark Roots really sets the stage for the story the reader embarks on. After a couple of readings, Peyton, I was able to quickly realize that the pain being expressed within this story is about a family - I'm going to infer that because it is written from a "rst-person point of view, this is about your family. I thought it was extremely clever to begin the poem by expressing that your family has "inspired"you to write only reading this line could make the reader believe as if this poem were going to be full of joy and bliss. Oh, but how that quickly changes into the second line, and pretty much for the entire sonnet There are too many lines from which I could choose that stand out to me:
I despise your demons and countless lies.
I despise your demons and countless lies.
Souls as dark and empty as a blackhole,
The sight of the bloodshed makes them cackle.
May these demons release these abductees
Submit your poems you wrote in response to Poetry Submission 1 as a reply to this thread. You have the option to
are ready), but you must submit a total of two poems to this discussion topic workshop.
In your workshop critigues of your classmates' poems respond in detail, using the following questions to provide feedback for the formal poems. You may choose to comment on one poem in this thread and one in the other, or two in this thread.
What line or image stands out for you in this poem? Share it by using quotation marks and then explain what makes it powerful for you. How does this line or image contribute to the poem as a whole? Explain where this ts into the poem's overall structure. If you are examining a sonnet, address how well the poem adheres to the rules of the sonnet. Contemporary sonnets do not always rhyme, but if this one does, do the rhymes draw attention to themselves, or do they support a sense of the poem's coherence? How does the poet make the form his or her own? If you are examining a sestina, villanelle, or pantoum. address whether the poem follows the rules of the chosen form. Analyze how the form supports the