Omar J. Saez
ENG-328 -- Poetry Writing Workshop
Professor Julie Ramon
May 15,2022
3-1 Journal: Line Breaks
This is not a small voice you hear
this is a large voice coming out of these cities
This is the voice of LaTanya. Kadesha. Shaniqua.
This is the voice of Antoine. Darryl. Shaquille.
Running over waters navigating the hallways of our schools spilling out on the corners of our cities
and no epitaphs spill out of their river mouths.
This is not a small love you hear
this is a large love, a passion for kissing learning on its face
This is a love that crowns the feet
with hands that nourishes, conceives, feels
the water sails mends the children, folds them
inside our history where they toast more than the flesh
where they suck the bones of the alphabet and spit out closed vowels
This is a love colored with iron and lace.
This is a love initialed Black Genius.
This is not a small voice you hear
Before I began the process of deconstructing the poem above, one of my first goals
was to try and get a feel for the story that was being told by the writer. This seems at first to
be a story about a generation of African American children, but after several readings, it
seems as if the writer is painting a picture of the Black voice in America -- it is a large,
profound voice that expands within "cities," or communities where creativity ("Black
Genius") flows, love spreads ("Not a small love"), and ambition is persistent.
I noticed that the first and last lines of the entire piece were " This is not a small voice
you hear. " Before diving deeper into the rest of the poem, I decided that I would create two
breaks using those two lines -- one after it is first written, and another right before the end. I
thought creating a separation before and after these lines puts the entire poem into perspective
in terms of what, and who the poet was recognizing and celebrating. Addonizio (2010) states
that a general principle that's followed when it comes to line breaks is that the word at the end
of the line, or the beginning of it, stands out to the reader -- clearly, it's not just about the
voices that exist but it's also about the voices being heard. It's almost as if the poet is
implying that the reader may have already heard these creative, amazing voices but he or is
she is not paying attention. I think ending the line at "you hear," inserting a line break, and
starting a new stanza creates somewhat of an intrigue on behalf of the reader -- who are behind
these voices? What are they saying? What am I hearing?
Outside of the third stanza, every other one that I constructed begins with "this is." I
found that starting many of the stanzas, and individual lines like this created a rhythm