Developing individual in society Lecture 16: 19/04/2021 Love in close relationships Lecturer: Ava Horowitz Love as Adult Attachment - According to Bowlby (1977) said attachment is "the propensity of human beings to make strong affectional bonds to particular others" - Zeifman & Hazan (2000) propose the same four phases in Bowlby's stages of infant attachment also apply to adult romantic relationships. Phase of attachment Infancy 1 - Pre-attachment 2 - Attachment in the making 3 - Clear-cut attachment Distress and protest when separated from AF 4 - Goal-directed partnership Attachment styles Seek social interaction with anyone, seek and accept comfort from anyone. Prefer familiar adults more, especially primary attachment figure (AF). Target social signals to AF Verbal intimacy Physical intimacy Tolerate separation more calmly, greater interest in peers Adulthood Seek partners, potentially anyone. Flirt somewhat indiscriminately. Prefer to spend time with partner Target social signals to partner Verbal intimacy - Similar to babytalk Physical intimacy - Handholding, kissing, cuddling, sexual acts Similarities become more subtle See a move, less focus on partner and more resumption to normal life. Have deeper interdependence - Studied by Ainsworth et al. (1978) - Observed parent and child together, then parent left and a stranger entered. After some time, parent returned. - Looked at what the infant did throughout all of this. - Attachment styles in infancy, secure, avoidant and ambivalent. Secure Attachment
Most infants observed to have a secure attachment style. - Separation o Upset when AF leaves. o Happy when AF returns, greet positively. - Contact/Comfort o Is sought by infant. o Readily accepts comfort by AF. - Reaction to strangers o Somewhat comforted in absence of AF. o Strongly prefer AF to strangers. Avoidant Attachment Also called dismissive or anxious-avoidant. - Separation o Unemotional upon AF returning. o Ignored or avoided AF. - Contact/Comfort o AF-initiated comfort was not rejected. o But also, not sought. - Reaction to strangers o Did not give much focus to strangers. o No preference between AF & Stranger. Ambivalent Attachment Also called anxious, anxious-resistant, preoccupied. - Separation o Distressed when AF leaves. Not reassured/comforted when AF returns. - Contact/Comfort o May refuse AF-initiated comfort or even display aggression to AF. - Reaction to strangers o Extremely suspicious of strangers. Research suggests adult attachment styles are: - Stable - Trait-like - Across different relationships - Across time - However, can change due to major life events. Physical contact seeking: - Hazan et al. (1994)
- Adult avoidant o Seek sexual contact o Have trouble with other emotionally intimate contact Such as kissing or cuddling. - Adult ambivalent o Seek emotionally intimate contact o Saw sex as a means to emotional intimacy - Adult secure o Seek both o Not into very casual relationships Compassionate love for romantic partner - Sprecher & Fehr - CL = Selfless, giving love Secure = TCL for partner Avoidant = L CL for partner · (Ambivalent = unrelated to CL for partner) Triangular Theory of Love - Created by Sternberg (1986) -