Question

Following are very early drafts of memos that businesspeople have sent to their bosses or co-workers. Revise and edit each draft, referring to the Revision Checklist on page 70. Turn in your revision and the final, reader-ready copy. As you revise, keep in mind that you may have to delete and add information, rearrange the order of information, and make the tone suitable for your readers. As you edit, make sure your sentences are clear and concise. a. TO: All workers FROM: B, J. Blackwell DATE: February 3, 2016 RE: $\quad$ Parking The parking violations around here have gotten very, very bad. And the administration is provoked and wants some action taken. I don’t blame them. I have been late for meetings several times in the last month because inconsiderate folks from other divisions have parked their cars in our zone. That just is not fair, and so we in our department must not be the only ones who are upset. No wonder the management finds things so bad they have asked me to prepare this memo. A big part of the problem it seems to me is that employees just cannot read signs. They park in the wrong zones. They also park in visitors’ spots. The penalties areg oing to be stiff. The administration, or so I was led to believe, is thinking of fining any employee who does not obey the parking policies. I know for a fact that I saw someone from the research department pull right into a visitor parking area last week just because it was 8:55 and he did not want to be late for work. That gives our business a bad name. People will not want to do business with us if they cannot even find a parking spot in the area that the company has reserved for them. Vice President Watson has laid the law down to me about all this and told me to let each and every one of you know that things have to improve. One of the other big problems around here is that some employees have even parked their cars in loading zones, and security had to track them down to move. As part of the administration’s new policy, each employee is going to be issued a company parking policy and will have to come in and sign for it verifying that he received it. I think things really have gotten out of hand and that some drastic action has to be taken. We will all have to shape up around here. b. TO: All Employees FROM: George Holmes DATE: October 19, 2015 RE: $\quad$ Travel Every company has its policies regarding travel and vouchers. Ours strike me as important and fairly straightforward. Yet for the life of me I cannot fathom why they are being ignored. It is in everyone’s best interest. When you travel, you are on company time, company business. Respect that, won’t you. Explain your purpose, keep your receipts, document your visits, keep track of meals. Do the math. If you see more than one client per day, it should not be too hard or too much to ask you to keep a log of each, separate, individual visit. After all, our business does depend on these people, and we will never know your true contributions on company trips unless you inform us (please!) of whom you see, where, why, and how much it costs you. That way we can keep our books straight and know that everything is going according to company policy. Please review the appropriate pages (I think they are pages 23–25) about travel procedures. Thanks. If you have questions, give me a call, but check your employee handbook or with your office/section manager, first. That will save everyone more time. Good luck.

   Following are very early drafts of memos that businesspeople have sent to their bosses or co-workers. Revise and edit each draft, referring to the Revision Checklist on page 70. Turn in your revision and the final, reader-ready copy. As you revise, keep in mind that you may have to delete and add information, rearrange the order of information, and make the tone suitable for your readers. As you edit, make sure your sentences are clear and concise.
a. TO: All workers
FROM: B, J. Blackwell
DATE: February 3, 2016
RE: $\quad$ Parking
The parking violations around here have gotten very, very bad. And the administration is provoked and wants some action taken. I don’t blame them. I have been late for meetings several times in the last month because inconsiderate folks from other divisions have parked their cars in our zone. That just is not fair, and so we in our department must not be the only ones who are upset. No wonder the management finds things so bad they have asked me to prepare this memo.
A big part of the problem it seems to me is that employees just cannot read signs. They park in the wrong zones. They also park in visitors’ spots. The penalties areg oing to be stiff. The administration, or so I was led to believe, is thinking of fining any employee who does not obey the parking policies. I know for a fact that I saw someone from the research department pull right into a visitor parking area last week just because it was 8:55 and he did not want to be late for work. That gives our business a bad name. People will not want to do business with us if they cannot even find a parking spot in the area that the company has reserved for them.
Vice President Watson has laid the law down to me about all this and told me to let each and every one of you know that things have to improve. One of the other big problems around here is that some employees have even parked their cars in loading zones, and security had to track them down to move.
As part of the administration’s new policy, each employee is going to be issued a company parking policy and will have to come in and sign for it verifying that he received it. I think things really have gotten out of hand and that some drastic action has to be taken. We will all have to shape up around here.
b. TO: All Employees
FROM: George Holmes
DATE: October 19, 2015
RE: $\quad$ Travel
Every company has its policies regarding travel and vouchers. Ours strike me as important and fairly straightforward. Yet for the life of me I cannot fathom why they are being ignored. It is in everyone’s best interest. When you travel, you are on company time, company business. Respect that, won’t you. Explain your purpose, keep your receipts, document your visits, keep track of meals. Do the math.
If you see more than one client per day, it should not be too hard or too much to ask you to keep a log of each, separate, individual visit. After all, our business does depend on these people, and we will never know your true contributions on company trips unless you inform us (please!) of whom you see, where, why, and how much it costs you. That way we can keep our books straight and know that everything is going according to company policy.
Please review the appropriate pages (I think they are pages 23–25) about travel procedures. Thanks. If you have questions, give me a call, but check your employee handbook or with your office/section manager, first. That will save everyone more time. Good luck.
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Successful Writing at Work
Successful Writing at Work
Philip C. Kolin 11th Edition
Chapter 2, Problem 14 ↓

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TO: All workers FROM: B, J. Blackwell DATE: February 3, 2016 RE: Parking The parking situation around here has become increasingly problematic. The administration is understandably frustrated and is seeking action to be taken. I have personally experienced  Show more…

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Following are very early drafts of memos that businesspeople have sent to their bosses or co-workers. Revise and edit each draft, referring to the Revision Checklist on page 70. Turn in your revision and the final, reader-ready copy. As you revise, keep in mind that you may have to delete and add information, rearrange the order of information, and make the tone suitable for your readers. As you edit, make sure your sentences are clear and concise. a. TO: All workers FROM: B, J. Blackwell DATE: February 3, 2016 RE: $\quad$ Parking The parking violations around here have gotten very, very bad. And the administration is provoked and wants some action taken. I don’t blame them. I have been late for meetings several times in the last month because inconsiderate folks from other divisions have parked their cars in our zone. That just is not fair, and so we in our department must not be the only ones who are upset. No wonder the management finds things so bad they have asked me to prepare this memo. A big part of the problem it seems to me is that employees just cannot read signs. They park in the wrong zones. They also park in visitors’ spots. The penalties areg oing to be stiff. The administration, or so I was led to believe, is thinking of fining any employee who does not obey the parking policies. I know for a fact that I saw someone from the research department pull right into a visitor parking area last week just because it was 8:55 and he did not want to be late for work. That gives our business a bad name. People will not want to do business with us if they cannot even find a parking spot in the area that the company has reserved for them. Vice President Watson has laid the law down to me about all this and told me to let each and every one of you know that things have to improve. One of the other big problems around here is that some employees have even parked their cars in loading zones, and security had to track them down to move. As part of the administration’s new policy, each employee is going to be issued a company parking policy and will have to come in and sign for it verifying that he received it. I think things really have gotten out of hand and that some drastic action has to be taken. We will all have to shape up around here. b. TO: All Employees FROM: George Holmes DATE: October 19, 2015 RE: $\quad$ Travel Every company has its policies regarding travel and vouchers. Ours strike me as important and fairly straightforward. Yet for the life of me I cannot fathom why they are being ignored. It is in everyone’s best interest. When you travel, you are on company time, company business. Respect that, won’t you. Explain your purpose, keep your receipts, document your visits, keep track of meals. Do the math. If you see more than one client per day, it should not be too hard or too much to ask you to keep a log of each, separate, individual visit. After all, our business does depend on these people, and we will never know your true contributions on company trips unless you inform us (please!) of whom you see, where, why, and how much it costs you. That way we can keep our books straight and know that everything is going according to company policy. Please review the appropriate pages (I think they are pages 23–25) about travel procedures. Thanks. If you have questions, give me a call, but check your employee handbook or with your office/section manager, first. That will save everyone more time. Good luck.
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